thoughts for the day..

Latest news that the crew is going to reshuffle... had a talk with one of the trainers just now.. told me some stuffs.. and somehow i agree with him... the trainer should look after and fight for the men..(maybe i am just unlucky that i am in the wrong crew.. i dun believe i cannot perform as well as the others..i dun believe in putting on a show.. what i do is what i am.. ) but i guess my trainer is ..how am i gonna put it... abit too scared to do just that... take for instance last nite.. our crew got called up.. the head is farking us up for some reasons.. pin point at each person then point to me.. grumble and grumble.. anyways i think i am those kind who dun really give a damn.. i said what i have to say and thats it.. anyways.. the trainer should at least know how to cover for his men.. help in one way or another.. maybe he is just so sian of doing that? or maybe he dare not do it? brings me back to the says during my NS...

Brudder if u are reading this.. here is a refresher... OC takan us.. who dares to make noise? who dares to fight for welfare? even some of the regulars dun say a word... left to the 2 most handsome guys in SOC to do all the shyt work... i give my hat to those 2... really dare to make a stand and look after the rest of the guys..

anyways back about work..thats the way a leader should do.. things that i have learnt during my degree course.. leadership qualities in a person.. one look u can tell.. he should be the one taking charge..helping..listening... the other trainers and inspector agreed maybe its time to change the crew.. i dun think our crew is the weakest among the lot.. even though no one is equal but we still can get the job done.. is it fair for us?is it fair for my trainer? sometimes i just feel sorry for him...everyday kena this kind of shyt.. he is not a very hands on person.. cares more about paper work.. so left us to do the hard stuffs.. we still do it.. we still clear it.. to me work is work.. as long as we meet the target for the day its good enough.. do not do more than we are told.. why become a spoiler? let the head see? need to let him see? instead of reshuffling the crew why not reshuffle the head? and dun come with all that last time craps.. last time police wear shorts! last time last time... last time u still watching video tape loh..knnz..

i dun dread going to work.. i dread whats gonna happen.. where is the union? maybe go on strike? nah... too many movies...

life is like that... maybe i have made a wrong choice in this company.. maybe its a little hardship that i have to go thru before i can make it big... maybe this is going to lead me somewhere new.. sometimes feel so down.. need to cheer up.. the feeling of being rejected... no this no that... fine with me... dun blame me if i get it elsewhere... not my fault that i have to do this.. its just that u leave me with no choice at desperate situations.. the level is reaching the boiling point.. dun force me to become something i dun want to be..

if only dreams are real... then things wont be so bad as it seems to be.. listen to what people say and learn.. i learnt alot from the trainers..*thanks* not forgetting from the rest of the technicians and inspectors.. i have taken lots of advice... i am keeping my cool.. as what i've said.. a person has its limits.. its either u listen and accomadate or hell will break lose..

too many things in my mind now... i dun like it.. i want to be carefree about stuffs.. no need to worry about whats going to happen the next day...

pimples all popping out soon..ahhhhh... shall gulp down a big bottle of water.. take a smoke... read my magazines... surf some porn.. carry some weights.. maybe watch my dvds.. cannot open the movie files that i have downloaded...why har???

dun worry i still love u if u are a whale.. shall sponser ur 1st treatment at marie france like we agreed..